


Thanksgiving Wars

by kingbeezelbub



Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Justice Society of America (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Food Fight, Freeform, Gen, Humor, Thanksgiving Dinner, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:30:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingbeezelbub/pseuds/kingbeezelbub
Summary: The JLA and the JSA sit down and have a nice Thanksgiving dinner, but as usual, disaster strikes...





	Thanksgiving Wars

“Hey, Jay, pass me the salt, will you?” Barry asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Jay Garrick handed his successor the salt across the table. The JSA and JLA had once again decided to have a proper thanksgiving for once, without the occasional villainous interruptions.

“Mmm…” Superman let out a pleased hum as he dug into his slice of sweet potato pie. “Looks like the girls have out-done themselves this time. Almost tastes like Ma’s pie.”

“Damn right, they did.” Green Arrow chuckled as he leaned back into his chair and chuckled. “God, it feels like we’ve haven’t done this in forever.”

Batman, however, was sitting silently, looking at his food.

“Bruce?” Clark asked. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking about something.” The dark knight replied.

“Is it about the boys?” His friend asked. 

“They’ve dealt with thanksgiving without me, they’ll be fine.” Bruce softly grunted out.

“Then what?”

“I bet Spooky’s thinking about how much he wants to go back to Gotham; the place must be falling apart without his ass.” Hal snorted, taking a bite out of his turkey.

“Hal…” Diana frowned at him in warning, and then turned to Bruce. “Why did you not invite them along with you?”

Batman gave her an incredulous look, despite the cowl he was wearing. “This isn’t the type of dinner you can take them to. This is a prestigious, mannerly dinner between two teams of heroes-“

SPLAT!

Bruce let out a deep breath and turned to the offender who threw the glob of mashed potato at his head. “…Jordan.”

“Lighten up, Bats. It was just a bit of fun!” 

Oliver let out a loud guffaw, much to the annoyance of Black Canary and Hawkman.

“Queen, shut your hole.” Carter Hall then flung some of his mashed taters at Green Arrow’s face, silencing him. 

The battling bowman then let out a growl and bared his teeth in rage. “You asked for it, you goddamn fascistic son of a bitch!” He then chucked his turkey leg at Hawkman, but unfortunately, it hit Hawkgirl in the face instead.

“Hey!” Screeched Kendra.

“Dammit, Ollie!” Dinah snapped.

Oliver ignored her and chucked his peas at his winged nemesis, some of them landing in Power Girl’s cleavage.

“Oh, that’s it!” PG growled and glared at the bearded blonde man. “It’s on now!”

“People, please!” Jay shouted as he quickly avoided the now flying food being thrown around the table. “For god’s sake!”

Alan Scott let out a sigh, shaking his head. “And I thought we were going to have a nice dinner for once…”

Superman sighed as some dressing hit the left side of his face and looked sardonically at Bruce. “You were saying?”

“Shut up, Clark.” Bruce grabbed his slice of pie and flung it at the Kryptonian’s face, ignoring his protested squawk.

“Boys-” Diana was interrupted by a flying piece of jellied cranberry hitting her on the back of her head. “Hal!” She turned to glare at him.

“My aim’s getting rusty. My bad, princess!” Green Lantern laughed.

“Hal, stop throwing things at people!” Barry cried. “You’re not helping!”

Black Canary grabbed a pie and glared at her idiot boyfriend. “Hey, Ollie. Save some room for DESSERT!” She smashed it right into his face with a smirk.

Power Girl flung her dressing at Wildcat’s face, who in turn flung his mashed potatoes at her.

 

“Umm…” Wonder Girl watched the fiasco unfold in front of her along with her teammates as they stood in the doorway, watching the two teams food-fighting each other. “Should we do something…?”

“FOOD FIGHT!” Bart screamed and rushed towards the table with an evil cackle.

“Wait for me!” Jon shouted, nearly knocking Damian aside. The grandson of Ra’s let out a displeased noise as he turned to glare at Red Robin. “Why did you even bring me here, Drake?”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to share Thanksgiving with you, demon runt.” Tim rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault everyone’s devolved into kids.”

“At least this is going to be the funnest Thanksgiving ever!” Conner grinned, putting an arm around his best friend.

“Oh, shut up, Kon.” Tim grumbled.

“Hey, B! We’re here and we wanted to bring some-” Dick was cut off at the sight of the raging food fight. “What the hell…?”

“Is this how people celebrate Thanksgiving?” Kori asked, tilting her head. “By tossing their food at each other?”

“Not normally, no.” Wally replied, raising an eyebrow.

“I told you we should’ve had our own Thanksgiving.” Roy complained.

“Roy, shut up.” Donna placed her hand onto her forehead in exasperation.

“Food fight?! Sign me up!” Garfield whooped and rushed off into the fray.

Damian turned to face Dick. “You lied to me, Grayson. You promised that this would be a dinner between mature people. All I see are squabbling fools and children.”

“Speak for yourself.” Tim sniped.

“Shut up, Drake!”

“Guys-” Dick was cut off as he was hit on the head by a roll. “OW!”

“Hey, what-” Tim was next to be hit by flying mashed potatoes in the face. “Ugh!”

“Ha! Serves you both right, you fools-” Damian was cut off by a huge piece of pie being splattered onto his face. “Argh! Damn it all!”

Kori let out a giggle. “Don’t worry, Dick. I will avenge you. Prepare to be pelted with food!” She floated into the air and began to fling some of the pie Dick had brought at the feuding JSAers and JLAers.

"Kori, no...!" Dick let out a small whine before placing his face into his hands. Alfred was going to kill him.

“So, about the next Thanksgiving…” Cassie let out a yelp as Bart belted her neck with dressing. “BART, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” She rushed towards the giggling speedster.

Donna shook her head. “I’ll go try to stop them.” She resignedly strode towards the table.

“I miss Thanksgiving at the manor…” Tim sighed.

“Aw, c’mon, Timmy. There’s always next year,” Dick soothed. “But right now, let’s just enjoy the moment that’s happening right now.”

“You mean like the moment’s that’s happening over there?” Tim pointed to Green Arrow preparing to chuck the turkey at Hawkman.

“Oliver Queen, you put that turkey down right this instant!”

“I’m bringing this bird to meet his damn granddaddy!”

“Bring it, you bearded buffoon!”

Dick gaped at the scene, and then slowly turned to Tim with a strained smile. “…Not exactly.”

“I will make these fools regret what they have done-” Damian was cut off as another piece of pie hit his face. “JON!” He screeched at his grinning Kryptonian friend.

“Hey, Dickie, Timbo, what’s-” Jason stopped to see the chaos unfolding in front of him and shook his head. “Nope.” He quickly walked out the door.

“Hey, Jaybird, wait up!” Roy bounded after him.

“…Now what?” Wally turned to Dick, eyebrow raised.

“Now we go help Donna.” Dick sighed. “Or we’ll never hear the end of it from her.”

“Good plan.” Kid Flash nodded.

“I just hope the next Thanksgiving isn’t this crazy…” Tim sighed, as the boys went over to the table to help their friends to stop the others from killing each other.


End file.
